He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
