Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
