Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The Olympian is in my bed
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
