he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
