you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize