omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
