I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
