Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
