There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
PANTIES FOUND
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