I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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