I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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