so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
