is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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