I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
