i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Actions speak louder than pants.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
