I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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