I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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