Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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