Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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