apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
