i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
