Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
