you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I believe in your delicious
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
