1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
