I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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