i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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