Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
