Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Everything about him screamed your future.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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