She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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