You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
