But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
