He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
