that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Randomize
