your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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