he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
