The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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