I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
