i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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