Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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