There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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