What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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