half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
