So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Operation Purity has been aborted
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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