Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We just shotgunned beers for America
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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