You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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