It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
