I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
