counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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