I'm laying in your front yard are you home
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
