We named our party play list daddy issues
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
