u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
