so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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