He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
is wine microwaveable?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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