See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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