I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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