he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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