She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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