I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
