My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
