you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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