I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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