Just fell off a train. Bad.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
