fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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