Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
