How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
